disappointments

I'm sitting here full of resentment, disappointment and even a little anger. It's been a week of let downs and plans getting changed beyond my control. It began when I found out our mission trip to Ghana had somethings happen to it that could cause big problems. Well turns out they did and now we aren't going in November. This is the 3rd time we've tried to go on a trip to work with the Seatons. I'm seriously beginning to feel like we (or maybe just me) aren't supposed to go at all. Part of this is another potential delay in deciding if we're ever having any more kids which for those of you who know me well is a very sore subject with me sometimes. I struggle with this daily. But all this was manageable because we were heading to the beach... my souls respite... I love the beach, I love the sounds, the warmth of the sand, the smell of the salt spray. I would live on a beach if I could. Then along comes a dumb tropical storm called Eduard... long story short now we are heading to Bastrop to stay at a house with a pool and a farm attached. It's not setting so well with me today as this morning I learned on the news that the stupid storm moved in the night and didn't even affect the beach we were going to ( it had been on a direct path and expected to reach Cat 1 Hurricane force by landfall). So now no beach, no trip and possibly no more kids all in one weekend. God and I are going to have some serious discussions this week while I sit in the Texas heat.