I wonder if I had a time machine if I would go back and change things, then I think, but some of what I've gone through, done, has shaped me to be who I am and what I believe and would I be the same if I changed my choices... but I still would like to forget much of last year, it wasn't a great year, I ended the school year and some of the summer, burnt out emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I want a do over.
Yet, there is something about coming to the end of yourself in all those ways at once that makes you see the things that are really important and gives you glimpses of what God just might have waiting for you. Not to say that I still don't screw up royally quite often, just that for once in my life I've started accepting the grace he has always offered.
The condemnation of all my past that I've lived under and worried about and flogged myself over and over about is losing it's grip, one conversation with God, one conversation with my sweet husband, one conversation with my Godly counsel, at a time.
I am finding verses even now that I know are some I need to be hiding in my heart and posting them on the doorframe of my home (well, maybe the fridge will do, it's the part of the house I seem to see the most). Here are some I found tonight
"For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart and knoweth all things." 1 John 3:20
"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." Hebrews 8:12
"As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalms 103:12
I am ready to begin anew and to see all that He has laid out in front of me... praying for daily truths from Him as I continue down this path called life.
1 comment:
Spending time looking in your past in regret, wishing things could have been different is going to live you a sickly, depressed, condemned mess of a person.
Been there, done that.
You can't change the past so why focus on it? Why drudge up things Christ has already thrown to the deepest parts of the sea?
Not condemning you...like I said, been there done that.
His blood covers all those things. Yes, that sounds cliche. Problem is you may be putting your own valuation on it. You need to put God's valuation on His Son's blood. God finds His Son's blood sufficient. He doesn't look at our sins anymore.
"It is finished". Hold on to those words and rest in them. Its done. Once you rest in His complete and finished work on your behalf you can press into these verses...
Php 3:13, 14 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
You also need to test the fruits of what you are experiencing. If you are experiencing guilt, condemnation, and accusation...these aren't from Abba. They are from the Enemy. God is all about restoration and love.
"IT IS FINISHED"....
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