being honest before God

My awesome B-I-L and brother in Christ challenged me today to be honest with God, to pour out what is so deeply in my heart it's things only he knows... and he does know already. Why do I think that because I know he already knows these things I don't need to talk to Him about them? Okay Tim, I'm gonna try cuz my heart is hurting so much today I can't even breath...

The names of God

nothing fancy, today I need to sit in His presence and feel the need to list the names I know Him by and why, a reminder for my soul of sorts...

God!

All Powerful - He can handle anything that I send His way

Emanuel - God is with us, He is with me second by second, day by day, month by month, year by year through all eternity, but am I with Him?

El Shadi - All Sufficient, He can be my everything, am I letting Him?

Truth - I can trust everything I read in His Word

The still waters - if I will allow Him He will lead me to Himself and I can rest beside Him

And - if He is The Beginning and The End, Alpha and Omega then He is the and in between, He is ever present, ever loving, ever knowing

The Bridegroom - He is pure love waiting with baited breath for me to walk down the aisle to Him, why is this one the hardest to believe and understand when I have such an amazing example before me each day in Matt?

Like minded friends part 2

God is taking Matt and I on an expedition, a journey of discovery if you will, about what the Church is. Part of that is the need and desire to find friends to travel with us. I am blessed more than I realize some days by an incredible group of ladies who support me, cry with me, pray over me and will even pick up my pack and carry if for me if I get to tired to do it myself. One of the coolest parts is that there are some who are shoulder to shoulder with me and then also ever growing rings of support, kinda like the ripples on a lake when a rock is thrown in... these ladies and their husbands are our church. A fellowship of like minded believers who might not be in our lives day in and day out but are willing to open their lives to us, to share their pain and burdens, joys and triumphs, to bless us and be willing to be blessed by us. Thank you Father for continuing to open my eyes to all you have blessed me with. You have answered prayers, You have been faithful even in the face of my doubt, questions and anger, You are Alpha & Omega, The Beginning and The End, You are and always will be.... I love you Daddy, help me to continue to crawl to your lap of forgivness and words of love and wisdom.

The need for like minded friends part 1

Hopefully you will find a few folks who walk with God to also walk with you through the seasons of your life. But honesty – and Scripture – forces me to admit they are a rare breed. Few there are who find it. All the more reason for you to make the number less scarce, by becoming someone who walks with God and teaches others how.
Look to those who have walked with God down through the ages. Certainly that is why the Bible is given to us. If God had intended it to be a textbook of doctrine, well then, he would have written it like one. But its not; it’s overwhelmingly a book of stories – tales of men and women who walked with God. Approach the Scriptures not so much as a manual of Christian principles but as the testimony of God’s friends on what it means to walk with him through a thousand different episodes. When you are at war, when you are in love, when you have sinned, when you have been given a great gift – this is how you walk with God. Do you see what a different mindset this is? It's really quite exciting.

from (Waking The Dead , 107, 108)

more tonight...

The Road

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet

And whither then? I cannot say.

- J. R. R. Tolkien

Anybody got a time machine for sale?

I wonder if I had a time machine if I would go back and change things, then I think, but some of what I've gone through, done, has shaped me to be who I am and what I believe and would I be the same if I changed my choices... but I still would like to forget much of last year, it wasn't a great year, I ended the school year and some of the summer, burnt out emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I want a do over.

Yet, there is something about coming to the end of yourself in all those ways at once that makes you see the things that are really important and gives you glimpses of what God just might have waiting for you. Not to say that I still don't screw up royally quite often, just that for once in my life I've started accepting the grace he has always offered.

The condemnation of all my past that I've lived under and worried about and flogged myself over and over about is losing it's grip, one conversation with God, one conversation with my sweet husband, one conversation with my Godly counsel, at a time.

I am finding verses even now that I know are some I need to be hiding in my heart and posting them on the doorframe of my home (well, maybe the fridge will do, it's the part of the house I seem to see the most). Here are some I found tonight

"For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart and knoweth all things." 1 John 3:20

"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." Hebrews 8:12

"As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalms 103:12

I am ready to begin anew and to see all that He has laid out in front of me... praying for daily truths from Him as I continue down this path called life.

disappointments

I'm sitting here full of resentment, disappointment and even a little anger. It's been a week of let downs and plans getting changed beyond my control. It began when I found out our mission trip to Ghana had somethings happen to it that could cause big problems. Well turns out they did and now we aren't going in November. This is the 3rd time we've tried to go on a trip to work with the Seatons. I'm seriously beginning to feel like we (or maybe just me) aren't supposed to go at all. Part of this is another potential delay in deciding if we're ever having any more kids which for those of you who know me well is a very sore subject with me sometimes. I struggle with this daily. But all this was manageable because we were heading to the beach... my souls respite... I love the beach, I love the sounds, the warmth of the sand, the smell of the salt spray. I would live on a beach if I could. Then along comes a dumb tropical storm called Eduard... long story short now we are heading to Bastrop to stay at a house with a pool and a farm attached. It's not setting so well with me today as this morning I learned on the news that the stupid storm moved in the night and didn't even affect the beach we were going to ( it had been on a direct path and expected to reach Cat 1 Hurricane force by landfall). So now no beach, no trip and possibly no more kids all in one weekend. God and I are going to have some serious discussions this week while I sit in the Texas heat.

open and bare

I'm just going to lay this out there for those of you who feel able to lift me up in prayer... I am feeling out of sorts and just crummy today. Don't know if I'm getting sick, or allergies are acting up or if it's just my old sin nature raring it's ugly head. I feel wasted, tired, grumpy and like lashing out at one and all... really all I want to do is bury myself in the blankets and let the world fend for itself (you know that means my poor husband and kids). But of course I can't do that and so the battle rages in me. I covet your prayers that I can get off my kester and do something about this. Thanks guys.

why we do VBS

This year I heard of a conversation between a mother and her kids about why our church does VBS. They were talking about all the time and money we pour into this week and is it worth it. This is what I think.

We spend 12 months planning and preparing for 7 and 1/2 hours of time spread out over 5 days. But why we do it was evidenced in the decision of 7 kids this week to follow Christ as their Savior. I'd do it for just one kid... actually I'd do it even if we didn't have one child make a decision during the week because I know they will have had Christ poured into them by at least 8 people and most of the time more than that during the week. As hard as this year was preparation wise the joy I got to experience as I listened to Kim rejoice over the 3 girls she personally lead to Christ and the beam on a moms face as she heard of her child's decision made it all worth it. Thank you to all you who supported our church in time and prayer.
You guys rock!

(Oh yeah and the conversation I got to hear about... they reached the same conclusion )

And the two shall become one

I took the kids to the pool today and decided to enjoy the fact (don't faint here Matt) that as long as Serah has her arm floaties on I can just let them swim and sit in the sun and read, problem is I don't have a fiction book to read. So today I figured I'd pick up the book that has been sitting on my bedside table for way too long. I started it a while back but never got real far in. I don't know why I put it down, I started reading the first chapter and it just resonated in me. It's one many of you have heard of and probably read already. Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Wife.
I've been so reminded lately of just how important our marriages are and how under attack they are each day, in big and subtle ways. We have so many friends who either are or have been on the brink of divorce and it's scary how they got there. I pray often for my marriage and for those around me.
I have to share some of the things that stuck out the most to me because if I wrote down them all you'd be here all night. First I could just pray these sentences and it would probably be enough... they say it all.
"I will not allow anything to destroy my marriage."
"I will not stand my and watch my husband be wearied, beaten down, or destroyed."
"I will not sit idle while and invisible wall goes up between us."
" I will not allow confusion, miscommunication, wrong attitudes, and bad choices to erode what we are trying to build together."
"I will not tolerate hurt and unforgiveness leading us to divorce."

this is so important: We are a team, one unit, unified in the Spirit. Our strength as a man and wife joined together in God's sight is far greater than the sum of our individual strengths because it was the Holy Spirit that unites us and gives us power to our prayers. And the power that resurrected Jesus (Holy Spirit) is the very same power that will resurrect the dead placed of our marriage and put life back into it. "God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power" 1 Corinthians 6:14

Another cool thing that I came across that God was able to show me the growth and change in our marriage was this passage in Joel. "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten" Joel 2:25 He took me back to our early years and let me tell you the locust weren't just swarming they were thick on the ground. Then He showed me how he has completely restored those years because the closeness and joy we have in each other now is a complete opposite to the separation and sorrow from those first couple of years. We sometimes joke that we've finally gotten to have our "honeymoon period" 13 years later but what a testament to His ability to keep two people so dissimilar together. I love where she says "God is big enough to accomplish all this and more". God and his grace and power is what has kept us together and nothing else.

If I could figure out how to add more songs to my playlist I'd put all of Steven Curtis Chapman's all about love on it. I love this album and the promise of many more years together.

Don't end your day without telling your love how much they mean to you. Find some way to show them you care and are praying for them.

Hmmm ponder this...

was doing my bible study tonight , yes Amy more than one day in one night, it's VBS crunch week, I know poor excuse, anyway... and in my reading I came across these verses,
Mat 26:59
The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so that they could put him to death.
Mat 26:60
But they did not find any, though many false witnesses came forward.
Finally two came forward
Mat 26:61
and declared, “This fellow said, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God and rebuild it in three days.’ ”

and also

Mar 15:29
Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “So! You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days,
Mar 15:30
come down from the cross and save yourself!”

I don't think I've ever "seen" these passages before, I'm sure I've read them many times but tonight God revealed something to me that I think is so cool... think on this.

Jesus was crucified or "destroyed" and then three day's later rose from the dead or was "rebuilt". Wow the very thing that was meant for insult was prophesy for those who would believe in him... in fact check this out...

Jhn 2:19
Jesus answered and said unto them, Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.
Jhn 2:20
Then said the Jews, Forty and six years was this temple in building, and wilt thou rear it up in three days?
Jhn 2:21
But he spake of the temple of his body.
Jhn 2:22
When therefore he was risen from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this unto them; and they believed the scripture, and the word which Jesus had said.

I mean how cool is that... I hope this hits some of you like it hit me... everything in His Holy Word is full of meaning and it all points back to Him, everything. It just kills me sometimes that it's taken me this long to start to "get it"... I often want to go back and change that selfish person who thought it all applied to me not HE... I'm praying that this study will lead me away from the bottle of milk and on to the plate of meat he has waiting for me.

Much prayers needed

VBS is like a train speeding recklessly down the track. I feel so out of control this year and like things aren't getting done. I don't know why the second year seems worse than the first. I'm not communicating well with others this year and it really frustrates me. I know that the simple solution is to take it to God and that's what I'm trying to do... but even that I'm not doing well this year. I really need the prayers of all you around me to make it through this week and next. Thank you for always being there for me.. you guys rock.

my testimony

I needed to write this for something and I found myself unable to sleep tonight. I think God had this time set aside for me. It just seemed to flow out. Thank you Lord for your patience, grace and understanding. I pray you use this in more ways than I planned it to.


When I was six I said to my mom “ I need to go now” like most moms her first reaction was “not now Church is almost over“. So I said “ No, I need to go down front, Jesus needs my heart”. This is a story I’ve heard many times over the last 29 years. But I have to say I have no memory of it. I know I was baptized I’ve got a certificate from my church. But yet again I have no memories. I know I went to church most Sundays beginning soon after birth. But it hasn’t always been a smooth path. I had my highs and my lows. I participated in Sunday School, Mission Friends, GA’s, Acteens and many youth activities. Unfortunately by the time I hit High School the youth department I attended was in shambles. I put my Christian growth and trust in the wrong people. I made very poor choices and received advice that should have shamed those giving it to me. I ended up stepping away from the church and to an extent God for a season. But God in his infinite mercy and grace never turned away from me. In many ways he protected me from myself and my stupid and selfish choices. Eventually I found my way back to church and a strong College and Career class that pointed me in the right direction for spiritual growth. I still had my ups and downs but after 15 years God has given me a strong desire to know Him more daily and to trust Him with my marriage, my children and my life. This past spring I finally gave way to pride and obeyed His request that I give myself a baptism to remember. Matt was so strong and supportive and baptized me in front of our whole family, which in my mind means my church family too. I know that to survive each day in His will I need to surround myself with Godly council, people I know are following His path and voice. I can only pray that God increases my testimony in ways I can’t even imagine.

Matt

I have been so blessed by Matt. He is so the Christian man that God had chosen for me. I love the joy he shares with me. The desire for closeness and intimacy that I see in his eyes and hear in his words is so much more than I ever hoped for. Thank you Lord for this blessing you have bestowed on me. I don't deserve your love or his. I pray that you teach me how to be a better wife daily. Our marriage is such a precious gift.

What is surrounding me, God or the world?

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." Deuteronomy 6:5-8

I struggle with this so much, I want to have His word constantly before me... wouldn't it be cool if every where you turned there was scripture verses on signs or billboards, tickers, everywhere... but it's not like that, what we do see is the world crammed down our throats day in and day out. So short of literally writing His word all over my body how do I do this? How do I make it such a part of my day that I find myself talking about it all the time, when we are sitting, when we are walking down the road, day in and day out instead of the world before us we had God and His mighty powerful word before us, behind us, surrounding us.

They bring me such joy!

I love to watch them in play... to see the joy that His creation brings to them. This is on our spring break trip to visit Grand Tacon in Alabama. We went to the beach for a day and had a wonderful time. Can't you just hear them, ready, set, jump.

Somewhere in the Middle

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me...

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me...

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

I heard these powerful words last night at a Casting Crowns concert... wow... to hear him speak straight to my heart in the middle of thousands of people was a humbling thing. Even that night as I got ready it crossed my mind... what was my focus on? Looking good for people who mean a lot to me but are only part of this physical world or preparing myself to actually worship Him? I have to admit that looking nice won out and I never stopped to pray, to ask Him to show me His word last night. Yet even in my absolute contrariness He found me. He was by my side bringing me back closer to Him and away from the middle.

In my reading time this morning the devotional I get talked about Christ's returning and how we shouldn't count the day's because we can't know when He is coming back: "I don't think friends, that I need to deal with the question of when all this is going to happen. You know as well as I that the day of the Master's coming can't be posted on our calendars. He won't call ahead and make an appointment any more than a burglar would." 1 Thessalonians 5: 1-2 (the Message) yet we do know the burglar is coming and we need to prepare ourselves for that... the kids and I sometimes watch a show called "It Takes a Thief"... the premise is that we don't prepare ourselves for the eventuality of a break in and these former thieves come in and break into your house and show you how easy it it... of course they give everything back and set up peoples houses to be safe, the kicker is that before the guy breaks in they set everything up with producers, add cameras to the houses and people know that at some point this guy is going to try to break in... I don't get why they don't prepare, they just sit there like it will never happen... how like that are we? We as His children have been told He is coming , "like a thief in the night", and yet we live our lives day to day like it's either never going to happen or like it won't be that big a deal when it does and it's a long way off so why get prepared... my heart has been so stirred to get ready; to prepare my kids, to ready my home, to live a quiet life that points others to Christ, to follow 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24 " Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

Lord, create in me a clean heart, clothe me in your righteousness, for my own desires and my own choices in life are like filthy rags, show me the path you want me to take, the life you want me to live (and love), Thank you for walking by me daily, for never leaving my side even when I turned away from you and spent my time in communion with my other walking companion, temptation, I ask that you help me keep my focus on you so much that the temptations in life begin to weaken and fall back to walk behind us, I know they will never be gone but I am on my knees asking you to help me diminish their strength. Thank you for being my God and God alone, I praise your holy name. My life is yours.

A quiet walk with Him

Imagine taking a walk with God down either one of these paths... the quiet companionship, the conversations you are sure to have, the joy in the moment... what's to stop us from allowing these moments to happen anyway? Our pride? Our busyness? Our grief? Lord help us to stop and dwell in your presence daily.

The Perfect Path

The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

I am so aware of my failings in life so much so that I find it hard to see those things I do right. I find myself so concerned about doing it the right way and taking the right path I don't wait for His wisdom and advice. I walk so fast I end up on the edge of His protection. I don't think we are ever out of his protection but I think we can be just on the edge where it can take more time to protect us than if we are walking by His side. It's like our kids when they are just out of arms reach... we have to lunge to keep them from falling off the stepdown they don't see because they are too busy looking ahead at the thing that tempts them and keeps them from walking slowly beside us.

Lord, help me to slow down, to listen for your voice and trust you to show me the best path for my life and those whose lives I'm responsible for.

A begining

I'm not sure how great I'll be at this but I'm going to try. This is going to be about the things God is teaching me. I hope to post something most days but know that some days it just gets away from me.

The reason I chose The Plain Path for my blog title is I know this a battle I face daily... keeping up w/ the Jones'... What He wants from me is to learn contentment, peace in the life he chose for me and trust in a daily walk with Him.

I'll share what he shows me with honesty and trust that you my family will keep me in your prayers and hearts.